Bertangguh

Tetibe dalam otak aku ni byk sangat nak pikir.

1. Nak kemas rumah supaya fit for the baby.

2. Apparently decided to speed up a few things berkenaan kedai dengan husband over the lunch. The plan was to open a butik after raya. Then i said. What if sumthing happens after raya? With baby coming this august. Why dobt we just push now and have a butik in operation as soon as possible.

Having a new butik means i need to:
1. Find a spot
2. Buy mesin jahit tepi.
3. Hire pekerja yg pandai menjahit.
4. Setup office at butik
5. Make sure my products coming in quickly. Now sedang tunggu woven label siap.

Bila product siap i need to market them a.s.a.p

And me being a marketing noob is lost now.

1. Kena set up email.fb.twitter and ig seyf amalin
2. Find model untuk photoshoot.
3. Cataloque all the colours and design.
4. How to introduce the product. Gain followers n all.

I really suck at this sosial media thing. And its frightening rite now. Modal sekarang ada around 8k for seyf amalin hijaab.

And i need to think of how to use that and still have revenue to survive in this cold period of gst bla3. Should be good if everything can settle before raya.

Our initial plan was to invest bukak another kedai di parkson and that would cost rm4k untuk brg2 and around rm1.7k untuk sewa and pekerja for the last 15days of april.

Then i think baik invest for our own shop/office/production house. Ade production house means i can start my label now. And we all know the power of brand. And kedai pun bole guna for sale and borong.

Takut sebab nak buat benda yg xbiasa buat. But i need to do it now. Tangguh2 bila nak siap? Bila nak berjalan?

Looser

Kadang kadang rasa nak pergi jauhhhhhh.
Jauhhhh sangat so that husband would miss me.

Tapi i know i would miss him more.
Sebab in my life. I focus on him je
Bangun pagi always tunggu die bangun dulu before i literally get out of bed.
Then siap2 untuk teman die buat keje.
Petang die gi gym i would just sleep or sonetimes goes to spa.

Malam pulak have dinner together and then goes to bed.

Few days ago he weny fishing and i did not follow him. Why? Sbb i know i would be bored there too. So duduk rumah just keep browsing fb yg tak menarik. Ig yang bosan. Tv yg hambar. Sooo torturing.

My life evolve sooo much around my husband. Sampaikan kalau die takde i will feel so lost. Padahal keje banyam je yg tertangguh.

I would cry. Look at his pics. And watch sappy videos. And miss him. Tu keje i masa husband xde. Such a looser rasanya.

Older and wiser

Im almost 26 this year.
Married and older and hopefully wiser.
Sekarang baru sedar yg how foolish i was when i was younger.

Tak sabar. Ego. Pemarah.

I guess we all like that masa kita muda kan?
I wish i was more matured and patient.
And i think most of us wish to be that too right?

But as i always says. Past is past.

You lived it. No regrets.

Hopefully now we make better choices.
Better temper.

I wish happiness for everyone.
Insya Allah..

Dear

Dear the one i love.
Dear husband.
May u look at me one day.
Proud of who i am.
Proud of what i love.
Proud of what i become.

Thank you for seing greatness in me.
Thank you for letting me fly everytime i want something.
Thank you for supporting me in everything.

I promise to support you. All the way. With god's will.

Hooman i am

And im only human.
And i bleed when i fall down.

Tetibe teringat lagu tu.
Kadang2 orang fikir kita ni xde perasaan.
Kita ni umpama robot.
Kita ni macam xde hati.

Padahal kita jugak sama manusia.
Rasa apa yg orang lain rasa.
Kecewa. Sedih. Menyesal. Bahagia. Sakit hati. Terluka dan semua yang orang lain rasa.

Sekarang ni aku lebih suke senyap.
Bercakap hanya dengan husband.
Kadang2 with my bestfren.
Biarlah aku tiada dunia luar.

Melalui fb n ig je aku vocal.
Aku bukan nak orang tahu sangat tapi just as a diary.
Sebab aku suke menulis.
Sebab aku suke bercakap.
Kalau boleh aku nk describe everything.

I dont know when im gonna die.
Maybe masa lahirkan baby ni.
Maybe masa tua nanti.
Just one fine day.
Orang2 yang matter for me and thinks im matter for them can re read what i have wrote.

What i have felt
Sama macam my husband.
Die ade past die sendiri.
And i can totally read that on his fb wall.
Tapi aku xbole nak tidakkan benda itu.
It happened. He loved someone before me.
We both have our history.

Deep down i know yg kalau dalam syurga. Kalau Allah cuma bagi die pilih seorang teman. My husband wont choose me. Die akan pilih ex die. Tapi aku xberani nak tanya. Aku tau kalau aku tanya die akan jawab dia pilih aku. Tapi aku just know it.

Atleast im doing my best for my husband.
Sebab die yang jaga aku sekarang.
Die always cakap yang kalau one day kita bercerai pon itu memang takdir. Memang bukan jodoh kita. Aku faham. Dan aku tahu apa yg dia cakap tu betul. Allah tetapkan. Kita cuma follow aturan Allah kan?

Sape kata sayang kat seseorang tu hak kita?
Semua hak Allah. Allah bagi keupayaan pada hati kita utk syg. Untuk benci. Untuk rindu. Untuk lupa. Untuk kenang. Untuk buang. Dan untuk segala2nya.

Husband cakap. Kita mcm dalam game. Yg Allah dah sediakan semuanya. Kita cuma follow. Dan husband jugak selalu cakap. Kena spare a lil bit of our heart for dissapoinment. I guess he is right.

Appoinment

Esok hari ahad.
Nak jumpe doc srbab nak book pakar for labor di annisa.
Hope everything will went well.
Sepatutnya jumpa ahad lepas but i was in perak.

Kalau esok dapat nampak gender baby kan best.
Bole start shopping dah.
I seriously xtau nak beli apa.
Baru oder tilam je.
Bedung baby. Kain lampin and whatever sume xbeli lagi..huhu. apa ek??

Kurussss

My bump xnampak sangat..
Selalu cakap dgn my hubs.

Haritu husband cakap. Perut yang ni memang xnampak sangat. Bie rasa mmg kecik je sampai labor.

Then i jawab.

Memanglah sbb yang kan kurus sebelum ni. Mestilah baby kecik. Kahkahkah.

I cant help myself. Its too funny. Me? Kurus? Hahaha