Tidak kesabaran mahu ke kl.
Nak pergi shopping kat ikea sikit.
Pastu nak tgk avangers.
Pastu nak shopping..
Birthday ni nak mintak apa yeeee
Story about bits and pieces of my life chasing my dreams, doing whatever i want, anytime i want.
Tidak kesabaran mahu ke kl.
Nak pergi shopping kat ikea sikit.
Pastu nak tgk avangers.
Pastu nak shopping..
Birthday ni nak mintak apa yeeee
Its 5.14 am now.
Husband just got out to fetch the tudungs that are arriving today.
Everytime he wakes up like this i feel so lucky and blessed.
To have find a great and hardworking man.
As a companion even when i am lacking in many parta of being his wife.
O Allah... what have i done?
To deserve a wonderful husband like him?
I know that my husbabd is just a pinjaman.
Thank you Allah. For lending me a wondeful person to take care of me.
To be the father of my children.
And to be loved by me.
And to love me.
I may have married him becos he was the only person who agrees to marry me back then.
But i believe that if you leave something because of your deen. Then Allah will give the best to you.
My dear fren saratul have said that to me once. And i keep her words in my mind.
Wanna wait up for my husband to be bacm home now.
And give him the biggest hug
As a very busy house wife like i am.
Masak is a must. Ok before i go on about masak. Lemmi tell you about my schedule on a regular day.
Wakes up and wait for husband to wake up. I literally cant. Or more to wont get out of bed before he wakes up.
Then we just hang around in bedroom. Or in front of the tv. Then get ready to go out and do stuff by 12.
Settle everything that needs to be done and have lunch outside. Or makan dekat rumah MIL.
Tapi malam most of the time now memang iolls akan masak. Sekarng ni masa husband pergi gym. Iolls rajen2kan diri kemas rumah cikit. Pastu jemur kain. Lipat kain dan prepare masak nasik utk makan malam.
So after balik dr ttp kedai kol 10 xlah letih sgt. Just buat yg mana kena buat last minit je.. masak pulak sepaling simple dan yg mana tak simple akan disimple kan. Biasanya satu lauk je yg mana sekali makan je habis. Boleh basuh periuk. Basuh pinggan. Xpayah letak bawah saji since meja makan pon xde. Lepas banjir haritu tak beli baru pon lagi..hahahaha
Borak dengan my husband n mother in law masa makan.
Terkeluar cite ade org berkenan dekat my husband dulu..hihi
MIL: tapi aj xberkenan kat die pon.
Husband: sebab berkenan dekat yang ni..
Hehehehe.. elehhh.. ambik hatiiiii.. wekkkkk 😜😜😜😜
Perempuan macam aku.
Memang suka sakitkan hati sendiri.
Suka tengok gambar2 lama husband.
Suka ingat benda2 lama sampai menangis.
Aku pun xpaham kenapa aku begini.
Padahal sekarang aku bukan ade gaduh dgn husband ke apa.
Everything is normal.
Cuma diwaktu lapang memang suke sangat tengok benda yg menyakitkan hati sendiri..
Harap2 aku cepat sibuk agar xpikir benda bukan2.
Woman..
Malam2 ni baby aktif pulak lam perut mommy ni..
Rasa mcm ade org ketuk2 dari dalam..hehe
Precious daddy and mommy..
Semoga lahir menjadi saham akhirat kami.
Mommy xmintak banyak.
Tak mintak sayang dapat banyak A
Tak kesah kalau sayang tak pandai speaking.
Mommy just nak sayang jadi orang yg sentiasa buat kebaikan. Sentiasa dahulukan Allah.
Bila mommy and daddy mati nanti. Akan ade seseorang yang doakan kami.
Tu je sayang..
Malam ni cte titanic la pulak kat tv2.
Bencinya cerita sedih mcm ni.
Sebab nanti mesti aku nanges..huk3.
Tak tengok sebab aku penat nak sedih.
Cinta2 ni da malas nak layan lepas kahwin..
Akhirnya harini.. selepas didesak oleh suami..
Sebab aku tak cakap dan mogok dengan die.
Bangun pagi2 je. Ayat pertama dia cakap.
Janganlah marah die.
Jangan asyik marah die.
Aku cakap aku xmarah.
Kalau marah bukan macam ni.
Marah bile aku ngamuk2.
Punyalah susah nak susun ayat.
Akhirnya terkeluar jugak soalan..
Ade perempuan lain yg ngorat bie ke?
Die bole pulak tanya bile?
Aku jawablah...bila2 jela sepanjanh kawen ni..
Pastu die tanya mcm2 pulak. Kat fb ke? Kt wasap ke?
Pastu hbs die cite pasal fb n wasap. Padahal aku tau yg kat wechat je..huk3
Pastu die gelak je.. aku da pesan awal2 jangan gelak..
Jadinya masalah wechat tu da settle. Dan boleh kembali hidup bahagia macam dulu..huuu
As a wife. Or as a fren. Or as anything in my life pun..
For me i give 100%.
I love 100% walaupun i just got 90% back
Just my nature.
Ramai cakap aku bodoh.
Spare some part of yourself from kekecewaan.
But thats not me.
Biarlah.
Supaya tiada sesalan di pihakku.
I always give 100%.
Terpulang orang nak hargai atau tidak.
Teknologi ni rasanya boleh menghancurkan.
Ditambah dengan internet.
Masa bercakap dengan suami hanyalah masa makan.
Time atas katil pon pegang fon.
Bukan buat apa. Fb. Wasap group. Youtube.
Alih2 benda sama.
Memancing. Gym.
Aku ni bukannye suke sangat nk pgg telefon.
Sebab xde apa pun.
Wasap pon aku benci dan malas.
Meniaga dah xde online.
Wechat pon xde.
Tapi sebab husband asyik pegang telefon. Aku nak buat apa?
Last2 aku pon jadi mcm die.
Saje je depan nasik pkn aku pgg fon.
Die masuk bilik aku hadap telefon.
Malas nak bercakap.
Nak ubah orang mmg susah.
Ubah diri sendiri.
Bukan nak kongkong suami.
Tapi dengan keadaan pregnant ni memang cepat terasa.
Dulu maybe aku xkesah. Now pembawakan budak ni semua benda aku kesah.
Terbaca satu ayat.
Suami tu pinjaman je.
Hanya jadi milik kita bila die dalam rumah kita.
Bila die keluar. Dia adalah milik dia sendiri.
Suami ade hak dan dibolehkan kahwin 4.
Asalkan dia adil.
Sedangkan perempuan ni dimana dia berpijak pon tetap adalah milik suami dia.
Entahlah..
Bukan senang kan nak jadi perempuan.
Terasa macam semua tak adil tapi Allah yang tetapkan begitu. Tentulah Allah lebih mengenali hambanya. CiptaanNya.
Apa2 pon Amalina. Fokuslah untuk membuat pahala.
Semoga di akhirat nanti mendapat ganjarannya.
Elakkan dosa sejauh mungkin.
Dunia ini sementara.
Akhirat jua yang kekal selamanya.
Tempat berehat dan berbahagia yang abadi.
The truth is i feel so unsettled.
Macam xtau nak buat apa dalam hidup ni..
Selalu time period je rasa macam ni..
Now aku xtaulah.. whyyyy sangat i feel like this..
Maybe i need a change. Or maybe i need a schedule in my life.
Almost May. Almost my birthday.
Everytime my birthday approaches. My heart aches.
I have always wanted a good one but i guess im not loved enuff kot to get that..huhhuuuu
Even this year. I dont know what i want.
Sometimes i just feel so swollen inside.
I just wanna be somewhere alone during my birthday.
So i dont have to give awkward responses to a birthday wish.
I dont tell people my birthday date.
I rather people not know.
I know im sad. And pathethic.
And i think i know what in others heart.
But then i do not know.
Im just living in my own world.
And i think i will go on with that.
Semalam tetibe nak bukak wechat suami sebab aku xde wechat. Jadi xdelah moments segala yg ade dlm wechat.
N niat sebenar nak tgk post2 suami kot2 ade yg sweet mawit ke apa kan..huhu..
Sekali bukak bahagian chat adelah nampak chat2 ngn membe2. Mostly aku kenal je..
Pastu ade sorang pompuan ni ade duk anta wechat tapi husband xbalas pon. Cuma last die anta good night kat my husband. Siap ade emoticon lagi..
Then husband reply emoticon senyum je.
Tarikh 19/2/2015
Hoiii.. xtau nak rasa apa.. terdiam terkedu jap..
Huhuhuhu
Tak pernah sangka that i will have this big of supporter in my life.
As big as my husband. Sometimes i wonder what have i done to deserve a husband like you.
Pinjaman Allah yang teristimewa setakat ni.
Tq so much sebab always support me. And bagi semangat. Syg belajar mekap ni hopefully nanti dapat lebih serious utk jadi mak andam. But for time being..kita tunggu baby keluar dulu ye..
Da lama tak masak elok2 for husband.
Sebab morning sickness dan keletihan yang teramat di awal pregnancy..
Kalau masak pon just goreng2 nasik. Goreng telur mata. Goreng ikan. Masak sardin dan sewaktu dengannya.
Malam ni rasa rajen pulak.
Jadi masak ayam masak lemak cili padi.
Punyelah pedas sampai lekat di jari..
Dan sekarang tengah merendam jari di dalam air.
Sobsssss
Few days ago.. i was so tired.
Bangun pagi mata rasa sakit.
Siap berair2 lagi bila hadap fon.
Tengah borak dengan husband.
Tetibe die cakap.
Yang..pandang sana..
Mata yang merah.. dah xputih macam selalu..
Dalam hati rasa macam owhhhhh..
Husband perasannnn...
So sweet.
My husband ni walaupun minat metal music tapi jiwa die sangatla halusssss.. and caringgg.
Now with baby bump 5months. Kaki rasa sakit sangat sebab berat badan bertambah..
Haritu pergi tesco nampak ade org buta urut tapak kaki. Nak berurut tapi da xsempat.
Masa tengah borak kat kedai i was picit2 tapak kaki sebab sakit. Tibe2 husband cakap. Jom gi tesco..
I was like buat apa?? Dua hari lepas baru pergi beli barang dapur???
Then he said kita pergi urut kaki sayanglahhh..
I just said no.. xpelah.. sikit je..
Kalau my reaction berubah or xde mood sebab sakit. Dia mesti akan tanya.. kenapa ni? Whats wrong?
Pastu i mesti kena jawab. Mesti. Sebab sakit perut ke. Sebab letih ke. Or else he will keep asking whats wrong.. marah dia keee.. things like that..
Sebab tu org cakap dont judge people by its cover.
Minat music rock metal pon hati tisu sangat..
Tetibe teringat zaman di utp.
I was really a loner.
Dulu kalau nak eksesais malam2.
Just drive to the padang and lari keliling padang.
Sorang sorang.
Tengah malam.
Bawah bintang.
Kadang kadang serempak dengan anjing.huuu.takot.
Lepas joging. Main pingpong.
Pon sorang sorang.
Main dengan dinding je.
Masa tu apa yg aku tak buat?
Untuk hilangkan kebosanan hidup sorang2?
Tapi kalau boleh ulang.
Akan ku ulang lagi sekali.
Okay. Sebenarnya aku tengah hadap wasap nak order barang tapi bab oder brg ni aku mmg malassss sangat..
Jadi stop kejap..
Keda 2 dah di relocate lagi sekali.
This time kat tingkat 1 kbmall.
Setentang drngan SenQ
Hopefully easy access and sale pon bertambah okay.
Berkenaan dengan mesin jahit tepi yg mengecewakan aku semalam.
This morning aku bgn2 je terus hadap mesin tu.
Pastu cube adjust mcm akak dalam group menjahit suggest.
And buat mcm husband cakap. Kena jahit laju2.
Dan hasilnya.. not bad.
Semakin comel je aku tgk.
Ni baru cubaan kedua.
Positif2. Kali kelima mesti macam profesionalll.heeee
Finally..
After a few days getting my nesin jahit tepi repaired sebab dah dirosakkan oleh my husband.
I got to use it to jahit tepi one of the tudungs.
One thing nak belajar setting. Benang asyik putus.
Pastu nak masukkan benang dalam jarum macam oh my goddd sangatt.. so much torture.
Atleast i got the setting right for tonite.
As for the resuly of my jahit tepi.... welll..... hodoh giler i dont know what to do next...
Tapi its my first time kotttt. Maybe 5th time better than this la kan. That makes sense. No?
Tapi with the tudung like this. Deginately kenot juall laaaa.. ohhh goddd. Maybe just hntar kat tailor je.
U go around thinking jahit tepi is not that hard. And you try it then you know how wrong you are.
Always a little girl at heart.
Bulan ni aku datang angin nak pakai cincin.
Cakap kat husband. Nak beli cincinlah tapi xnak emas sbb beli mahal kalau gadai murah je.
So nak beli silver je.
Husband kata nanti dulu.
Tunggu dekat2 hujung bulan sikit.
Tapi.. kalau nak.. nak jugaklah.
Beli dulu baru tunjuk..
Puas hati.
Dear my devoted husband.
I want u to know that Yang tak kesah pon kalau kita duduk rumah sewa.
I know that the time will come when we will have our own heaven on earth.
I know we have a plan and we stick to it.
Or we can just live happily like this forever.
Sayang tahu yang my husband is a man of responsibility. And to tell you the truth i want nothing more than you next to me facing day by day towards our dream.
I feel so blessed to finally find you..
For being so energetic and passionate all the time.
And for being so teruja about the mesin jahit tepi sampai berebut dengan sayang... so rare bie.. i dont think i ever met a man with that passion towards sewing machine like you do.
And for talking to me this morning like you do.
You knew that i dont have a backup plan.
I dont have a safety blanket.
If things will not work out between us one day.
Then i will figure out what to do when that day comes.
As for now. I have nothing except you.
But my heaven is with you.
And that is enough for a girl like me.
Who wants nothing more than a heart that understands
And a soul that keep uplifting
And a smile that keeps coming
And a spirit that never be broken like yours.
And yeah. For cooking tonite.
It was superb..
We should do this more often.hehe
Semalam masuk kereta. Tetibe pulak era pasang lagu stacy...
Me: yang tak pernah suke stacy. Xsukelah stacy.
Husband: bie suke. Suara die sexy.
Aduh.. sakit hati aku dengar.. whats wrong with me.. dulu cakaplah apa pon. Ade aku kesah? Sexy ke. Cantik ke whatever. Now memang tak boleh. Jeles memanjang.
Baby pompuan lah kot perangai gini..
Bukan salah dirikuu 😂😂😂
Hari ini dalam sejarah seyf amalin.
9 april 2015.
We bought our first mesin jahit tepi dengan singer.
Hopefully pelaburan ni akan berbaloi pada masa panjang.
Xboleh lari. Nak produce produk sendiri kena ade mesin sendiri. Mula dengan satu dulu ye sayang.
Nanti bile production requires more. Kita beli lagi.
Dengan lafaz bismillah..
Dengan nama Allah. Permudahkanlah perjalanan menuju impian kami ya Allah..
Scrolling ig tadi.
Then ada fynn jamal post video. Bila tekan. Terus dengaar...
Allah engkau dekat..
Sayu je hatiku dengar..
Allah..engkau dekat..
Segala yang ada dalam hati hambamu ini engkau dah tahu. Tapi kenapa aku masih sombong untuk mengadu..
Im almost reaching half way of my pregnancy.
To be honest. Aku takut. Satu aku takut sakit.
And lebih dari itu aku takut kalau Allah tarik nyawa aku masa aku melahirkan..
Then aku xde utk anak dan husband aku dah..😓😓😓
Takut kalau apa2 jadi kat the baby. What will happen to me n my husband?
Aku emosi giler.. org cakap kalau mak manja masa mengandung nnt anak pun mcm tu. Then husband ambik keputusan to stay a lil bit far from me.. rasa macam sedih jugaklah. Then i just asked him. Bie nak yang tak manja dengan bie ke?
Bile suami xde aku jadi hilang arah. Macam sekarang ni.. he went out and hanya akan balik pkl 8 nnti. Means 3jam setengah die xde. Aku xtau nk buat apa. Tapi i just nak be independent. Taknak bagi husband tahu dah. Biarlah.. maybe husband rasa aku sgt dependent pada die kot.
Die pesan. Yang buatlah apa2.
Macam hidup aku xde benda lain kan. Except my husband je. Pikir balik. Ye lah kot.. kot..
Whatever it is. Aku just jadi apa yg husband nak. So aku just angguk and cuba tak jadi clinging so much.
Harini cakap dengan husband. Pasal ex die..hehehe
Tadi tibe2 je aku kuar cite pasal insecurity. Bagitau die dulu before kawen, masa kapel. Selalu bimbang yang my ex akan berubah hati. Sebab hati ni senang sangat berubah. I am so insecure with myself.
Husband pulak cakap die jenis yang kalau da tau tu gf memang taulah die sayang. Xde insecure pebenda entah. Kecuali gf die ade orang lain. Sooo whateverlah. Boleh cari orang lain.
Husband cakap die dulu mmg xbole perempuan curang. Sekali curang mmg xtunggu lama.
Me pulak gaduh macam mana pun mesti baik balik dengan my ex. Aku xmacam die. Banyak kapel2. Aku dulu in one long relationship dengan one person je. Tapi ade jugakla skandal2. Bila kantoi my ex mesti maafkan. Samalah aku pun kalau kantoi apa2 belah my ex. Mesti akan maafkan.. walau apa jadi pon mesti baik balik. Dulu masa aku kawen ramai yg terkejut sebab lama sangat dengan my ex. Last2 kawen dengan orag lain. Husband boleh jawab.. alahhh. Jodoh kan.. kawan die kapel tahun2 jugak. Kawen org lain.
Husband cakap dulu die jahat. Aku cakap aku jahat gak sebab tu Allah bagi kita kawen. Baik sama baik. Jahat dengan jahat. Husband cakap tapi die jahat sangat. Aku cakap xpelah. Da jadi pasangan aku terima semuanya. Sebab die pun terima semuanya aku. Jahat aku semua aku cerita sebelum kami tunang dulu lagi. Sikit pon die tak melenting. Masa tu die boleh cakap die sayang aku walaupun aku baru lepas bagitau pasal keburukan aku. Masa tu terharu sampai menitik air mata sbb aku expect die akan sentap dan maybe merajuk or tak contact aku dah..hehe
Husband pulak dulu playboy sangat. Da putus terus ade orang masuk daun. Date dgn pramugari la. Bla3. Tapi okayla. Atleast aku bole cakap dengan my husband pasal benda2 gini. Sebab cakap pon benda yg lepas. Bukan diri dia sekarang. Juga bukan diri aku sekarang. So rasa lega jugak sebab bole cakap pasal benda2 sensitif gini dengan my husband. Rasa macam wow coolnya husband aku ni..hehege
Tapi bukan selalu la. Setahun sekali bolehla...
Tetibe dalam otak aku ni byk sangat nak pikir.
1. Nak kemas rumah supaya fit for the baby.
2. Apparently decided to speed up a few things berkenaan kedai dengan husband over the lunch. The plan was to open a butik after raya. Then i said. What if sumthing happens after raya? With baby coming this august. Why dobt we just push now and have a butik in operation as soon as possible.
Having a new butik means i need to:
1. Find a spot
2. Buy mesin jahit tepi.
3. Hire pekerja yg pandai menjahit.
4. Setup office at butik
5. Make sure my products coming in quickly. Now sedang tunggu woven label siap.
Bila product siap i need to market them a.s.a.p
And me being a marketing noob is lost now.
1. Kena set up email.fb.twitter and ig seyf amalin
2. Find model untuk photoshoot.
3. Cataloque all the colours and design.
4. How to introduce the product. Gain followers n all.
I really suck at this sosial media thing. And its frightening rite now. Modal sekarang ada around 8k for seyf amalin hijaab.
And i need to think of how to use that and still have revenue to survive in this cold period of gst bla3. Should be good if everything can settle before raya.
Our initial plan was to invest bukak another kedai di parkson and that would cost rm4k untuk brg2 and around rm1.7k untuk sewa and pekerja for the last 15days of april.
Then i think baik invest for our own shop/office/production house. Ade production house means i can start my label now. And we all know the power of brand. And kedai pun bole guna for sale and borong.
Takut sebab nak buat benda yg xbiasa buat. But i need to do it now. Tangguh2 bila nak siap? Bila nak berjalan?
Kadang kadang rasa nak pergi jauhhhhhh.
Jauhhhh sangat so that husband would miss me.
Tapi i know i would miss him more.
Sebab in my life. I focus on him je
Bangun pagi always tunggu die bangun dulu before i literally get out of bed.
Then siap2 untuk teman die buat keje.
Petang die gi gym i would just sleep or sonetimes goes to spa.
Malam pulak have dinner together and then goes to bed.
Few days ago he weny fishing and i did not follow him. Why? Sbb i know i would be bored there too. So duduk rumah just keep browsing fb yg tak menarik. Ig yang bosan. Tv yg hambar. Sooo torturing.
My life evolve sooo much around my husband. Sampaikan kalau die takde i will feel so lost. Padahal keje banyam je yg tertangguh.
I would cry. Look at his pics. And watch sappy videos. And miss him. Tu keje i masa husband xde. Such a looser rasanya.
Im almost 26 this year.
Married and older and hopefully wiser.
Sekarang baru sedar yg how foolish i was when i was younger.
Tak sabar. Ego. Pemarah.
I guess we all like that masa kita muda kan?
I wish i was more matured and patient.
And i think most of us wish to be that too right?
But as i always says. Past is past.
You lived it. No regrets.
Hopefully now we make better choices.
Better temper.
I wish happiness for everyone.
Insya Allah..
Dear the one i love.
Dear husband.
May u look at me one day.
Proud of who i am.
Proud of what i love.
Proud of what i become.
Thank you for seing greatness in me.
Thank you for letting me fly everytime i want something.
Thank you for supporting me in everything.
I promise to support you. All the way. With god's will.
And im only human.
And i bleed when i fall down.
Tetibe teringat lagu tu.
Kadang2 orang fikir kita ni xde perasaan.
Kita ni umpama robot.
Kita ni macam xde hati.
Padahal kita jugak sama manusia.
Rasa apa yg orang lain rasa.
Kecewa. Sedih. Menyesal. Bahagia. Sakit hati. Terluka dan semua yang orang lain rasa.
Sekarang ni aku lebih suke senyap.
Bercakap hanya dengan husband.
Kadang2 with my bestfren.
Biarlah aku tiada dunia luar.
Melalui fb n ig je aku vocal.
Aku bukan nak orang tahu sangat tapi just as a diary.
Sebab aku suke menulis.
Sebab aku suke bercakap.
Kalau boleh aku nk describe everything.
I dont know when im gonna die.
Maybe masa lahirkan baby ni.
Maybe masa tua nanti.
Just one fine day.
Orang2 yang matter for me and thinks im matter for them can re read what i have wrote.
What i have felt
Sama macam my husband.
Die ade past die sendiri.
And i can totally read that on his fb wall.
Tapi aku xbole nak tidakkan benda itu.
It happened. He loved someone before me.
We both have our history.
Deep down i know yg kalau dalam syurga. Kalau Allah cuma bagi die pilih seorang teman. My husband wont choose me. Die akan pilih ex die. Tapi aku xberani nak tanya. Aku tau kalau aku tanya die akan jawab dia pilih aku. Tapi aku just know it.
Atleast im doing my best for my husband.
Sebab die yang jaga aku sekarang.
Die always cakap yang kalau one day kita bercerai pon itu memang takdir. Memang bukan jodoh kita. Aku faham. Dan aku tahu apa yg dia cakap tu betul. Allah tetapkan. Kita cuma follow aturan Allah kan?
Sape kata sayang kat seseorang tu hak kita?
Semua hak Allah. Allah bagi keupayaan pada hati kita utk syg. Untuk benci. Untuk rindu. Untuk lupa. Untuk kenang. Untuk buang. Dan untuk segala2nya.
Husband cakap. Kita mcm dalam game. Yg Allah dah sediakan semuanya. Kita cuma follow. Dan husband jugak selalu cakap. Kena spare a lil bit of our heart for dissapoinment. I guess he is right.
Esok hari ahad.
Nak jumpe doc srbab nak book pakar for labor di annisa.
Hope everything will went well.
Sepatutnya jumpa ahad lepas but i was in perak.
Kalau esok dapat nampak gender baby kan best.
Bole start shopping dah.
I seriously xtau nak beli apa.
Baru oder tilam je.
Bedung baby. Kain lampin and whatever sume xbeli lagi..huhu. apa ek??
My bump xnampak sangat..
Selalu cakap dgn my hubs.
Haritu husband cakap. Perut yang ni memang xnampak sangat. Bie rasa mmg kecik je sampai labor.
Then i jawab.
Memanglah sbb yang kan kurus sebelum ni. Mestilah baby kecik. Kahkahkah.
I cant help myself. Its too funny. Me? Kurus? Hahaha